درس اصلی

Ladies and Gents lately I’ve been thinking something…

About what?

I want you to be happier.

You know why?

Because you are fricking awesome.

You… Listen to me…

Are fricking fantastic…

And that is why I don’t want you to waste your time with some crazy-ass people.

I want you to spend your time with someone who deserves to be with you.

So that’s why today we’re gonna talk about ten types of people who under no circumstances you should not mess around with and waste your time and emotions:

1. A person who can’t take a joke

There is nothing that makes your life less enjoyable than when you’re dating or hanging out with somebody who has zero sense of humor.

They can’t laugh at themselves.

They don’t think anything is funny.

They are fricking serious and uptight.

So there I was, going out with a girl twice this happened to me on the first date.

She didn’t laugh.

I was like yo Kambiz it’s cool bro maybe she’s nervous, maybe my jokes aren’t that funny so on our second date, I was dropping a bomb baby.

So I made this joke I was laughing my butt off.

I was like yo Kambiz this is fantastic she’s gonna love it.

But no laugh… are you kidding me?

The second type of person that you should not hang out with is a social justice warrior.

Please don’t kill me.

Don’t get me wrong.

I understand that there are a lot of horrible things are happening out there.

And you should fight or do whatever you like.

You gotta stop taking everything out on me.

Come on.

I’m here to be with you, that’s it.

Number three, it’s gonna be hard,

It’s gonna be a little bit tempting.

But never under no circumstances hang out with somebody who has plenty of followers on Instagram.

Social media influencers, Instagram models.

Everybody wants to be one if you’re dating someone or seeing someone on social media and you’re like yo mama I’m gonna slide into her DMs.

But there are 25 other guys sliding into her DMs

You are so beautiful…

Oh, she responded

So you want Irancell charge…Cool sure.

Never date someone who your friend dated before.

Yo Kambiz…

What are you talking about? Ha?

Yeah I don’t give a damn what your excuses are.

I don’t give a damn if she’s hot or something I don’t care man.

Listen to me, he or she was with your friend, right?

And you’re gonna be constantly thinking about that and this is gonna make you paranoid.

Plus, it’s not very good for your friend too.

Number five Stop being with the flirt.

Even if they are not technically into the guys and girls they’re flirting with.

This is gonna make you insecure and not so confident about them.

Plus you don’t wanna look like a loser who everybody thinks his girl or her guy flirts with everybody.

Number six do not date someone who is super jealous and insecure.

At first, it seems so cute.

She’s really into me, she wants to hang out oh this is very cute, y’know?

She’s always questioning where I am?

But ladies and gentlemen the cute kitten is a vicious tiger in the sack.

They’re gonna be jealous about every single person in your life and they try to isolate you from everyone.

They cyberstalk you, they check your phone, you gotta explain everything to them.

Jesus. Yo Kambiz what is your advice?

My advice?

Run

1. Don’t date someone who is super into animals

I personally love animals, I had two great cockatiels, and I loved them so much.

But for some reason I had to let them go.

I’m not talking about people who are a little into animals.

I’m talking about them being super into animals.

Yo Kambiz, what are you talking about man?

Yeah a dog, a cat is fine but too much is always too much.

1. Never date a pessimist ladies and gentlemen

Ugh… life sucks…

Yeah everything is negative about them.

Bah bah bah shut up, life is not that bad, come on…

Jesus fricking Christ.

I’m not talking about being a little pessimistic sometimes you feel like crap.

Okay it’s cool to be a little pessimistic but too much… Shut up

Number… nine don’t’ date a dummy

Ladies and gentlemen don’t date a dummy.

I don’t give a damn how hot they are dude with amazing cars or six-packs or girls with…I can’t talk about.

At first sight you’re gonna be like whooo ha ha.

But then you try to have a conversation and ugh…

You wanna be with someone who you can speak about your dreams, your goals and everything.

And then they’re talking about bullshit.

You know I have this amazing business plan.

Uhum

Yeah I’ve been working on it for such a long time 15 hours every day.

Did you see my last photo on Instagram?

It got 200 likes…

And last but certainly not least you don’t want to date someone who doesn’t appreciate how amazing you are.

You are great ladies and gentlemen let me repeat this:

You are fantastic, you’re working your ass off you have plans for your future you have Zabanshenas installed on your phone link in bio.

Why?

Because you wanna learn English to make your life worthwhile.

You are doing your best to work hard towards your dreams.

That’s why you are fantastic.

That’s why you are so great.

And that’s why you wanna be with someone who makes you feel more amazing more awesome about yourself and vice versa.

Yeah that’s right you wanna make your partner feel amazing too cause you are not a selfish asshole.

Never…never… under no circumstances waste your time with somebody who doesn’t appreciate how amazing you are.

That’s it, see ya.

Take a look at this, I’m no in danger.

I am the danger.

Thanks Afsaneh.