درسنامه واژگان

Hello members, welcome to the vocabulary audio for the emotionally intelligent husbands lesson. Let’s get started.

In the first paragraph, we have the word data. Some people pronounce it data, some people say data. Either is correct. So data or data and they both mean information or facts.

And then we have the word newlywed. “My data on newlywed couples”. Newlywed means recently married, so you… people who are married, I don’t know, maybe less than one year, we describe them as newlywed.

You can use it as an adjective, for example in this article, newlywed couples, right? Newlywed, recently married couples. You can also use it as a noun, you can say: Oh they are newlyweds, alright? That couple, they are newlyweds. It means they’re recently married. So noun or adjective either one.

Ok, so he says my data in newlywed couples indicate, indicate means show, that more husbands are being transformed. Transformed, changed, but changed in a big way, totally changed, changed a lot. We’ve had this word before.

Ok and then in the next sentence, we see the phrase emotionally intelligent husbands. Ok, you know the word intelligent, it means smart. Emotionally intelligent. Emotionally intelligent means good at dealing with your emotions.

It means you can recognize emotions and you can express them. You can talk about them. You can communicate about emotions in a clear way, in an intelligent way. So some people are very smart, right? They’re intelligent, but they’re not emotionally intelligent.

Maybe they get angry very easily, maybe they act like babies, like little children, when they get upset. They might be smart but they’re not emotionally intelligent. This article is about husbands who are emotionally intelligent, who are good with emotions.

Ok, we see the word honors in that paragraph used as a verb. Because this type of husband honors and respects his wife, he will be open to learning more about emotions.

Ok, to honor used as a verb means to respect, it’s almost exactly the same as to respect, it might be maybe a little bit higher, a little bit stronger than respect, but it’s the same basic idea.

Ok, honor your wife, it means you respect her very much. You want to be good to her, you want to hear her opinions, you want to help her, you think she’s intelligent etc, etc. You are honoring your wife.

Ok, and then later on that paragraph, we see the word emote as a verb. He’s talking about husbands. He says, he may not emote in the same way that his wife does, but he will learn how to better connect with her emotionally.

To emote means to show your feelings, to show your emotions, to express emotions, to communicate emotions. We call that emoting, to emote. It might also be used to mean… to understand another person’s emotions. But usually it means to show your own emotions, to emote.

Alright, we’ve got the word evolution later on in this in the next paragraph actually, the beginning of the next paragraph. He says he thinks emotionally intelligent husbands are the next step in social evolution.

Evolution means change over time. So transformation, we had that in the earlier paragraph. Transformation is usually sudden change, a sudden very big, large change. Evolution usually is small changes over a long period of time. So that’s how those two words are different.

Ok, and he says he doesn’t think… he doesn’t mean that the old style of husband was superior, or that the new style is superior. Superior meaning better in this case, better than.

He’s not superior in personality. He’s not superior in upbringing and not necessarily superior in moral fiber. Upbringing means how you were raised by your parents. It means what your parents taught you, what was good and what was bad. That’s upbringing.

Oh I had a good upbringing, it means oh my parents were quite good. They taught me how to behave well. They taught me to be polite, for example. That means I had a good upbringing.

Or you can say: Wow that guy he had a bad upbringing. It means maybe his parents were very bad, maybe they beat him, maybe they were a really bad example. So that’s why he’s not such a good person, because he had a bad upbringing, bad family life when he was young.

And then we have the phrase moral fiber. Moral fiber means your goodness, it means your sense, your feeling of what is good, what is right and also what is wrong.

If you have strong moral fiber, it means you always try to do what is right, what is good, what is kind. If you have weak moral fiber, it means it’s easy for you to do something bad, to do something wrong.

So moral fiber it’s your… it’s kind of like your moral muscle, right? How much you are good at doing good thing or doing bad things.

Alright, we see the word to convey in that paragraph. To convey means to communicate or to show. Husband needs to convey his respect to his wife. So he’s saying it’s not enough just to respect her. You have to show respect, you have to communicate respect, you have to convey respect.

And he says really it’s that elementary. Elementary of course can mean elementary school, meaning school for young children. But elementary also means very simple.

If you guys know Sherlock Holmes, his assistant Watson. He would always say to him “it’s elementary”, it means it’s simple, it’s easy.

Alright, in the next paragraph, we see the word priority. A wife must be the husband’s top priority. Priority means what you think is important, you know, number one first importance, number two second importance, number three third importance.

Ok, so those are your priorities, it means if your wife is the most important thing then you say, she is my most important priority, she’s number one.

Ok, and then we have the word revised in that same sentence, we’ve had that word before. Revised means changed, and it has the idea of editing, editing something. Means you already have something and then you change it a little bit, you correct it. That’s what revised means. We use it a lot with writing. Please revise this, please change it and correct the mistakes.

Alright, you see a kind of a strange phrase. He says: a man, a husband makes a map of his wife’s world, a map of his wife’s world. It’s a little bit of strange phrase. It means that he learns about the details of his wife’s life.

He learns what does she like, what does she hate, what was her family like when she grew up, what are her dreams etc. All the details of her life. He makes a map of his wife’s world. It’s what that means.

And he keeps in touch with his admiration and fondness for her. To keep in touch with something or someone means you keep contact, it means you remember, in this case it means remember. He remembers his admiration and fondness for her.

Admiration meaning liking, to like something. If you say I have admiration for him, it means you like him. Fondness is basically the same actually, those two words, admiration and fondness almost the same. They mean liking. They’re nouns, however, they’re nouns. It’s the feeling of liking someone or something.

Ok, and finally the last paragraph on the first page. You see the word outstanding. You probably know this already, but outstanding means great, fantastic, wonderful. So an emotionally intelligent husband is an outstanding father, according to doctor Gottman, is a great father, a wonderful father.

Ok, and the next page, second page. We have the first paragraph. It says the new type of husband leads a meaningful life. In this case, of course lead can mean to be a leader, but in this case, it has a different meaning.

If you lead a wonderful life, it means you do a wonderful life, or you live a wonderful life. So it doesn’t mean you’re a leader, it just means you’re doing it, you’re doing a wonderful life, you’re living a wonderful life, you’re leading a wonderful life, same meaning all of this.

Alright, and he says: this kind of husband, his wife will come to him not only when she is troubled, but when she is delighted.

To be troubled, has an emotion, it means upset, it means you have a problem, right? He says, oh I’m very troubled right now, it means oh I have a lot of problems right now, I’m very worried right now, I’m very upset right now. I am troubled.

And then the opposite is actually the word delighted. Delighted means very, very happy, super happy. I’m delighted that I got a raise at my job. I’m very happy. I’m getting more money at my job. I’m delighted.

Ok, in the last sentence of that first paragraph, on page two, we have the word mourn, the verb to mourn. He says: when this kind of man dies, he is mourned by his family.

To mourn means to feel sad for someone who is dead, or someone or something that is gone. So someone dies and then we cry, oh no… we’re very upset, we miss them. we are mourning them, right?

We’re remembering how much we loved them and how much we miss them and how important they were and how important their memories still is. That’s to mourn.

You might wear… in some cultures you wear black clothes, sometimes people cry, sometimes people don’t talk, whatever, but all those actions are, we call that mourning or to mourn.

Alright, and then finally our last paragraph talks about the other kinds of husbands, husbands who are not emotionally intelligent. He says: they’re quite sad, and he says: they respond to the loss of male entitlement with righteous indignation.

Alright, some good words here. Entitlement means power, but it’s a special kind of power. Entitlement is a power that is given to you. It’s not a power you take, it’s not a power, you know, someone can be very powerful because they make a lot of money, they build a business or they become a politician, they’re good speaker. That’s power, but that’s not entitlement.

Entitlement is when the government gives you power, or the society gives you power. You don’t do anything to earn it, it’s giving to you. That’s entitlement.

So males, men in many cultures perhaps, unfortunately, in most cultures I’d say, right now, have entitlement. The society and the government gives them special power that women don’t have. That’s entitlement.

Now in many societies and cultures and countries, men are losing these entitlements, they’re losing this power, that’s given to them. And some men don’t like that and they respond with righteous indignation.

I love this phrase, it’s a nice phrase, you can use it in many situations. Righteous means you think you are right, you think you are correct, you think… in fact it means you think you are right and everyone else is wrong. I’m right, everyone else is wrong.

And indignation means anger, strong anger. So righteous indignation means you’re very angry, because you think you are right and you think everybody else is wrong. Everybody else is doing something wrong and now you’re really angry.

So some men have righteous indignation, it’s a noun. Because they think society is wrong, taking away men’s power and that’s wrong, or the culture is wrong, or women are wrong. They’re taking men’s power.

And they become… if you wanna use it as an adjective, you can say they become righteously indignant. But if you use it as a noun, as it is in the article, righteous indignation.

Ok, and when this happens to a man, doctor Gottman says: he may become more authoritarian or withdraw into a lonely shell. Ok, to become more authoritarian means to become meaner, to try to be a boss, more controlling, try to be a big strong boss and control.

And then the opposite what he’s saying is withdraw into a lonely shell, means stop communicating, stop talking to other people. Become very lonely and separated and isolated from other people.

Ok, and finally our last phrase is is his due. Ok he’s looking… this kind of man is looking for honor and respect that he thinks is his due. Is his due means is his right, is what he is supposed to have.

These men think: it is my due, it means it is my right, it is my entitlement, it means I should get this power. I’m supposed to get it. That means it is his due, it is something he should have, he is supposed to have.

Alright, that is all for this vocabulary lesson. Listen a few times and then move on to the mini-story. Bye-bye.