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Superior Man Main Text

Hi, this is AJ. Welcome to the next lesson. This lesson is called “The Way of the Superior Man” and we’re going to talk about a book with the same title, The Way of the Superior Man, by David Deida, his last name is D-e-i-d-a. David Deida, another very interesting book. I’m trying to introduce you to a lot of interesting books and after these lessons are all over maybe you can go find these books and read them yourself. What a cool idea. But first, let’s get started. Get your body strong, strong physiology, right? Breathe deep, chest up, chin up, eyes up. Smile big. Deep breaths, move your body. Come on, get some energy in your body. Let’s get started.

So, The Way of the Superior Man, it’s an excellent book and it is in fact written for men, although I think there are a lot of great ideas in there for women, too. But I do think that men especially will enjoy the book. So, if you’re a man, I especially recommend that you go get it. But even if you’re a woman you could read it. You’re allowed to. It’s okay. Now this book is really about how to be a superior man, I guess what the title says.

How to be a great person is what it really means. How to live that life of your dreams, very similar to a lot of the topics we’re talking about, right? They all have a similar theme. Do you notice the topics are similar? Do you think I’m trying to convince you of something? Well, I am. I’m trying to convince you to live the life of your dreams, whatever that is. I don’t know what it is, but you know. Whatever those big dreams you have, I want you to get them. Now, of course, one of those dreams is to speak excellent English and I’m helping you with that right now. You’re helping yourself with that right now, too.

And you’re going to continue helping yourself speak excellent English, even after you finish all of these lessons. You’re going to keep following this system. You’re going to find more listening, more English listening, and you’re going to listen to it every day. You’re going to find cool, fun, interesting English books, novels especially. And you’re going to read them every day. You’re going to keep following this system even after you finish all of my lessons. It never stops. It never ends. But that’s okay because you enjoy it. Because you’re smiling, you’re moving. This is great. You love it. So why would you stop? No reason, you’re going to keep going forever. Alright, so get that big smile, come on – smile. And let’s get started.

I’m going to read a section of The Way of the Superior Man. This section talks about fear, because what stops us? What stops us from living our dreams? Usually, it’s fear. Some kind of fear, fear of failure is a very common one. Probably the most common, I think, fear of what other people think. Fear of other people’s opinions.

Fear of not being normal. Well, all these fears, everybody has them. It doesn’t matter who they are, even if they are a top performer. Even if they are super rich, super successful, super wonderful, everything is great in their life, they have fear and they had fear. So we have to learn how to deal with fear. So let me read about this topic from David Deida and then we’ll talk about it more. Here we go:

“Pick an area of your life. Perhaps your intimate relationship, your career, your relationship with your children, or your spiritual practice. For instance, you are currently doing something to earn a living. Where do your fears stop you from making a larger contribution to mankind, from earning a higher income or from earning money in a more creative and enjoyable way? If you are absolutely fearless, would you be earning a living in exactly the same way as you are now?

Your edge, your limit, is where you stop. Where you compromise your fullest potential, your biggest dream and instead cater to your fear. Have you lost touch with the fears that are limiting and shaping your income and style of livelihood? If you have deluded yourself and feel that you are not afraid, then you are lying to yourself. All men are afraid unless they are dead.

If you cannot admit this, you are pretending to yourself and to others. Your friends will feel your fear even if you do not. Thus, they will lose trust in you, knowing you are deluding yourself, lying to yourself and are therefore likely to lie to them, consciously or unconsciously. Or perhaps you are very aware of your fears, your fear to take risks, your fear of failing, or your fear of succeeding. Perhaps you are comfortable with your life and you fear the lifestyle change that might accompany a change in career. Even though the new career will be closer to what you really want to do with your life.

Some men fear the feeling of fear and therefore don’t even approach their edge, don’t even approach their potential or their limit. They choose a job they know they can do well and easily. And don’t approach the fullest potential they have within them. Their lives are secure and comfortable but dead. They lack aliveness. They lack depth. They lack the inspirational energy that is the sign of a man living his fullest. If you are this kind of man, who is hanging back, working hard perhaps but not challenging yourself, well then, other men will not be able to trust you. They will not trust that you can and will help them live fully.”

Okay, that is the end of the section. Let’s talk about it. What does it mean? So, he’s talking about fear and one of his points, point number one, everyone has fear. All men and women have fear. We’re all afraid of something. We’re all afraid of what other people will think. Nobody likes to be criticized, for example. We’re all afraid of failing, maybe some people a little bit afraid, some people very, very afraid. But all of us have that fear. Sometimes we have fear of success. We’re afraid that our life will not be comfortable anymore. “Oh my god, if I’m successful then I’ll have more stress,” or something. Or “I’ll be a bad person”, or, I don’t know. We all have that kind of fear, too. Sometimes very small in some people and in some people, it is a very big fear. The point is, everybody has fear. So, he’s saying that you have to live with your fear. You have to see your fear. You have to recognize it. You have to welcome it. You have to accept it. You say “Yes, I have fear. Yes, I’m afraid of this.” That’s okay. That’s the first step. You have to accept your fear. You have to be honest. If you tell yourself if you tell everybody “I’m not afraid of anything. I’m not afraid. I’m doing what I want to do,” then you’re probably lying. Maybe not consciously lying, maybe you’re subconsciously lying. But that’s what he’s saying.

So next he’s saying that you must go past your fear. If you stop because of fear, your life will become dead. It’s very strong language he’s using, right? He’s very strong about this. He’s saying if you stop because of fear you will become dead. You will become a weak man. He’s talking about men here but, it’s the same for women. So he’s saying you’ll become a weak man, a lying man.

Other men won’t respect you. They won’t trust you. Because they see you’re afraid and you’re not living your true life. You’re not living your full potential, your full ability. You’re not trying to live your real dream. So, he’s saying if you do that, if you stop because of fear, then other people, they’ll stop respecting you. They will know. And you will feel dead. Some part of you will feel dead.

On the other hand, the good news, he’s saying if you do continue, you have the fear – yes – but you keep going. You keep pushing yourself, challenging yourself. Then you will feel alive. You will feel energy. People will notice. They will see that you are living your dream or trying to, at least. And in this article, he is specifically talking about jobs and work. And, I chose this for a reason because it’s one area most people do stop because of fear. Most people work a job that, oh, it’s okay maybe. I mean a lot of people work a job that they hate, they actually hate the job. They go every day, but they never change. They’re afraid to try something more.

Other people just do something that’s comfortable. They don’t hate their job. But they don’t love it. It’s okay, and then day after day, week after week, year after year, same boring job. And they become more and more dead in their life. And unfortunately, I think that’s probably the normal thing. I think most people do that. I’ve seen it in my family. Most people in my family have done it. I’ve seen it a lot. Most people I meet, they’re not super excited and thrilled and feeling wonderful about their job or their career. Because they’re not living their real dream, they gave up. They quit. Don’t do that. If you have done that, well, it’s never too late to change. You can change right now. Just do it. So he’s saying start here. Start with your job, start with your career.

What do you really, really, really want to do? If you really dream big, what kind of career or job or business would make you feel excited and alive every day? Try to do that job. Try to do that career. You might need to study more. You might need to learn a lot. You might need to take a big risk. You might need to quit your job that you have now. It might take time. But start trying to do it now. Keep working at it. Do it. Don’t stop because of your fear. And he says this is a never-ending process. You never stop challenging yourself. You never stop pushing past fear. The fear will always be there. There will always be something new, a bigger dream you want to try and the fear is going to try to stop you and you always have to keep going. As long as you’re alive, this will happen. It will always happen. It never, ever stops.

It’s true in my life. I’ve seen it. Y’know when I quit my job to start Effortless English, I was afraid. In fact, I was terrified, very afraid. I was afraid I was going to fail. I was afraid I would have no money. Be homeless, crazy fears. But I did it anyway. And I’m very happy that I did because now I am very excited. I feel very alive. I love what I do. But I’m not stopping.

Now I want to grow Effortless English. I want to bring more people into the company. I want to do seminars. All of these give me more new fears. Oh my god, maybe I won’t be very good at a seminar. I have to stand in front of hundreds of people. Oh my god, I’m afraid, right? The fears always come. But you just keep going anyway. I’m not going to be stopped by those fears. I will continue. And you must continue as well.

Alright, that’s enough for now. Stay strong. Big smile, strong physiology. Challenge your fears. Keep going. See you next time. Bye-bye.