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Conversational Vocabulary

Okay everyone. Aaron here. I’m now going to talk about some of the language that Dan and I used in our conversation about Ellen and William and their escape from slavery to freedom.

1. can’t imagine

We’re going to start with the first little phrase, and that is can’t imagine. Dan is talking about Ellen and William not wanting to have children in the South because of the possibility that someone might want to take them away in a legal way which is pretty horrific. It’s pretty terrible. Dan says, “I can’t imagine the thought of someone being able to rip you away from your children,” but that was the situation.

We use this little phrase, “can’t imagine, I can’t imagine” when we’re trying to communicate the idea of extremity, something extreme, something either too painful to imagine or too difficult to imagine or too problematic or complicated to imagine. Let me give you a few other examples. My uncle, for example, has nine children. He and his wife. It’s difficult to raise children. I have two children of my own and that’s difficult enough. I can’t imagine raising nine children. My goodness, that’s a lot of work. I just can’t imagine. I don’t know how he and his wife did it. That’s one example.

Another example may be I’m going to a concern with some friends and someone asks me, “Hey, Aaron. Do you know how much money those tickets are going to cost us?” and I said, “No. I haven’t checked, but I can’t imagine they would be more than 50 dollars each.” In this case, I’m saying that probably 50 dollars is the higher limit of what they’re going to cost. In fact, they’re probably more like 30 or 40 dollars. I identify the upper limit, and I say, “I can’t imagine them being more than 50 dollars” which really means I think they’re less than 50.

Another example might be a woman in my neighborhood, I just found out both of her parents died in the same week, and I just can’t imagine how she much feel right now to lose both parents in the same week. Man, I just can’t imagine that. I haven’t even lost 1 parent. I don’t even know what that feels like.

You don’t have to use these in negative ways. You can use them in positive ways. This phrase can’t imagine, For example, “Oh wow. Today is such a beautiful day. I’m with my friends and my family.

The sun is shining. Everyone is smiling and laughing and having fun. I can’t imagine a happier day.”

There’s a positive. The day is so happy that there could no possibly be a happier day. I can’t imagine. It’s too extreme.

That’s ‘can’t imagine’. Let’s move on.

1. a good

A bit later in the conversation we’re talking about how far Ellen and William traveled to get away from the South and to arrive in the North. Then went from Georgia to Pennsylvania. I said, “Even nowadays with a modern highway system in a car, that’s probably a good 8 to 10 hour drive. Right.”

That’s a long way.

I want to focus your attention on this phrase “a good.” It’s always followed by an amount. Either a distance, a time, a weight, an age. Some kind of number, some kind of measurement. You can also say, “A full,” or “a solid.” A solid 8 to 10 hours, a full 8 to 10 hours. When we use this, what we’re actually saying is, it’s as much as or more than you expect. When I say that the trip takes a good 8 to 10 hours by car, what I’m actually saying is, you probably expected it to be less, but in fact, it’s much more. Any time that amount is more than what people expect or more than what people imagine, you can use “a good.” Let me give you an example. That’s an example of time.

Distance. How far away is the nearest shopping center? I’d say, “Wow, the nearest … well, that’s a good 10 miles” meaning that you probably think there’s a shopping center within 1 to 2 miles but actually it’s a good 10 miles. I wouldn’t say a good if in fact the shopping center were within 1 or 2 miles because that’s what you would expect living in a city. If someone sais, “Hey, where’s the nearest chopping center?” I would say, “Oh, it’s a, you know, it’s about 2 miles away.” Or, “It’s a mile away.” I wouldn’t say, “It’s a good 2 miles away,” because it is what people expect. I only use a good if it’s more.

Let me give you another example. “How old do you think that guy is? See that guy standing over there? How old do you think he is?” “Oh, you know. He looks like he’s probably 40, 42 years old.”

“Oh no, he’s not 42. He’s a good 60 years old.” “Really? He looks so young.” We use a good when the amount is more than we expect. Again, you can do this with weight or time or distance or any of those amounts. We use it with money, too. “Yeah. It’s a good 1000 dollars. Be careful. It’s very expensive.” That is ‘a good’.

1. going off on a tangent

We’re now going to move on to going off on a tangent. Dan says this. We’re talking about risking our lives for freedom. Then he bring sup the story of Henry Brown, this amazing story, and before he mentions it, he says, “It’s going off on a tangent,” meaning that he’s warning me that he is going to tell me something that is slightly off topic but is related to the topic, but slightly off topic. Actually this word tangent comes from geometry. It comes from trigonometry. It’s basically a line that touches a curve at a point. We can use that line for calculations. Really what it means is a change of course when we’re using this in conversation. A change of course, a digression, an aside, a linguistic excursion if you will.

We do this when we get off topic. That’s another way to day it. “I’m going to go off topic.” I’m going to get off topic. I’m going to slightly change the subject. I’m not going to fully change the subject.

Fully changing the subject is when you have a complete break in the topic and you talk about something completely different. That’s not what going off on a tangent is. Going off on a tangent is when something is connected to what you’re saying, and you start talking about it, and if you’re a good speaker you will remember the main topic and you’ll come back to it.

We might say, in formal speaking, if you’re giving a speech or a presentation it’s okay to go off on a tangent as long as you get back to the main topic quickly. Some people don’t. For example I know this one guy who every time I have a conversation with him, he always goes off on tangents, constantly. The problem is that he can’t remember what the main topic was. He can’t remember what he started talking about. He just talks in complete circles and he’s very difficult to follow. When I talk to him, I have to remind him what he originally talked about so he can get back on topic because he goes off on too many tangents.

1. Are you kidding?

Okay. Let’s move to the next one. A bit later, I respond to something Dan says by saying, “Are you kidding?” This is Dan talking about Henry Brown and Henry’s plan to freedom was to put himself in a box and mail himself from the South to the North. I said, “Are you kidding?” Basically this is an expression of surprise. I could have said, “Are you kidding me?” Or I could have said, “Are you joking?” Or “Are you serious?” Or I could have phrased it as a statement rather than a question. I might have said, “You’re kidding. You’re joking.”

In a previous learning strategies, we talked about rejoinders. These are examples or reminders we use when we’re shocker or surprised. Just to remind you, some of those might be, “What? Really?

No way. Get out of here. I can’t believe it. Wow.” I could have used any of those in response to Dan’s revelation that Henry mailed himself in a box which was pretty surprising.

1. Oh my gosh.

Next one is, “Oh my gosh.” Dan tells me just a few lines later that Henry Brown was put inside a very small, 2 meter by 2 meter box, and I said, “Oh my gosh.” That’s just an exclamation, a way of expressing, “Wow. I understand you, but I can’t believe it. Oh my gosh. That’s amazing. That’s incredible. What I really want to direct your attention to is the word gosh, because it’s not really a word in English. What is it is we’re actually using a word that sounds like another word, which would be God. Oh my God.

In American society as in some other English speaking cultures, we don’t … It can be dangerous to use the word God in this way as an exclamation or as they use to use it in vain. Oh my God. That can actually offend certain people who happen to be deeply Christian. There are many other words that are very strong that are not religious related but that are words that can cause people to feel uncomfortable. We soften them. We use, for example, gosh in place of God, where we would normally say, “God,” we say, “Gosh.” Oh my gosh or oh, gosh. I can’t believe it. Oh gosh. Another one might be Jeez. Oh Jeez. I forgot. Which means Jesus.

Another, very strong word is “damn it.” Of course, we use it all the time. I use it all the time. If I’m in a situation where I want to be a little more polite, maybe there are some older people around me that I don’t know very well, and I want to show them that I’m a polite person, I will switch these statements to darn or dang. Like darn it or dang it. Or that darn dog keeps barking. Will someone tell him to be quiet? Dang it. I forgot, again. I lost my keys. Dang it. We say that instead of damn it.

“Shucks” instead of “shit.” “Fudge” instead of “fuck.” “Fricking” instead of “fucking.” These are expressions that you might hear, and I’m trying to point out that they are actually substitutes for stronger words. Oh my gosh.

1. ticket to

Next one is “ticket to.” Dan’s talking about Ellen and her very light skin and because of her light skin she and her husband realize that this was their ticket to freedom. People wouldn’t be able to recognize her if they dressed her up in slave owner clothes. They wouldn’t realize she’s actually a slave because of her light skin. That was their ticket to freedom. Ticket to, we use this in common speech, and it basically means getting access to, a means of attaining, a means of getting something. Her white skin was their means of attaining freedom, their means of getting freedom. We can use this … Let me give you another example or two.

Maybe I’m a father, and my son is in high school, and he’s telling me he doesn’t want to go to college. I might tell him, “Oh you better get that college degree, son. It’s your ticket to a good job.”

Or I might tell my students, “Hey, speaking English is your ticket to the world. If you can speak really good English, you’ll have so many opportunities outside of the country you live so it’s your ticket to the world.” It just means it’s your way of opening doors, of getting opportunities you might not have otherwise if you didn’t speak English well.

We can also use this in a negative way. I might tell my son the opposite. I might say “Look, if you don’t have your college degree, that’s a ticket to unemployment.” I might tell my daughter who I saw driving around in her car while she was texting on her smart phone … I might tell her, “Look. Driving while texting is a ticket to death. That’s a ticket to disaster.” It’s a way of getting to somewhere you don’t want to go. A ticket to.

1. something like that

A little bit later, I am talking with Dan and we’re mentioning the fact that Ellen had 5 children, and Dan says, 5 children. Right. They had 5 children. Then Dan says, when was that? 20 years later? I said, “Yeah, something like that. About 20 years later.” This little phrase something like that is used all of the time, but I rarely hear my students use it. It basically means “about that much.” I don’t really know exactly how much. I’m just making a guess, but it’s about that much. It’s something like that. It actually doesn’t really matter much anyway because something else is more important.

This is used when there’s a detail, a numerical detail, using or some sort of a descriptive detail that’s not critical to the discussion. It’s related, and it might be a little bit important, but it’s not very important. Something like that. Let me give you another example. “I met this really interesting man at a party last night. He said his name was James or Jason or Jeffrey or something like that.

Anyway, he told me this really interesting story about …” Then I’ll go in. Really, in that situation, the story is what is important. The man is what is important. Really, his name doesn’t matter that much.

It’s James or Jason or Jeffrey or something like that. You use something like that when you are not sure what the detail is, and you just want to move on to the most important part of the discussion or the message that you want to give.

Let me give you another example. “Hey, when’s out next meeting?” “Oh, it’s next Thursday at 1 or 1:30 or 1:20 or something like that. Anyway, if you’re there at that time, we can get together and meet. We can talk about the important things.” Actually we don’t know what time it is, but we know about what time it is, and it doesn’t really matter so much. Something like that.

1. being in their shoes

All right. A few more here. The next one is “being in their shoes.” I say this when we’re talking about Ellen and William’s courage to make the choice to move back to the South after living abroad in England for such a long time. I say, “Yeah, but I’m trying to imagine being in their shoes and in that situation where they’re coming back to a country. You’ve started a family. You’ve raised your children, and what are you going to do when you get back to the states? I’m trying to imagine what that’s like.” Being in their shoes … That comes actually from a proverb. It’s a Native American proverb that goes something like this. “Never judge a man until you have walked a mile in his moccasins.”

eat buffet and it was unbelievable. I mean all around the room, they just had foods from all over the world. They had everything thrown in there from meat to fish to pasta to salads to desserts to Indian food to Thai food. It was just all thrown in there. That’s how you would use this phrase when you’re talking about a big list of things that makes up a bigger hole.

Okay, so those are the vocabulary terms and phrases that I wanted to talk a little bit about. I hope that you got something out of it. The real question is, are you going to use it? Are you going to put these things into practice or not? That’s the real question.

The reason I know that proverb is because I looked it up on the internet, because when I was a boy my father and my teachers always told me, “Never judge a man until you’ve walked a mile in his shoes.” That’s the proverb that I grew up with. My dad used to say that a lot, and I’ve heard it from other adults and teachers. Never just a person, never judge a man, never judge a woman until you’ve walked a mile in her shoes or in his shoes. As you probably can figure out, this just means you should never judge a person until you’ve considered their perspective very closely, until you really understand what their life is like.

I can combine this with the very first thing I talked about, I can’t imagine. I could say, “Wow, I can’t imagine being in their shoes. I can’t imagine being in Ellen and her husband’s shoes. I can’t imagine being in their shoes.”

Another way to use this is ‘put yourself’ … “Hey. Stop laughing at me. You should put yourself in my shoes. I bet you’ll stop laughing then.” If you understood my situation, you wouldn’t be laughing. Or, “Hey. Why don’t you put yourself in her shoes for a moment, and then you’ll understand why she acted the way she did.” I think that’s actually a good practice to put yourself in the shoes of other people from time to time to get an idea of what it’s like to be them, and see if you can imagine. If you can imagine what it’s like to be another person, I think it’s easier to treat that person nicely and kindly.”

1. level playing field

Let’s move on to the next one: a level playing field. This is what Dan mentions when he’s talking about a lot of people today say that slavery doesn’t have anything to do with me. Everything is all fair. Everything is a level playing field. We’re all good now. Basically, this phrase a level playing field probably comes from sports somewhere. It’s expressing the idea of equality meaning that the rules of the game should apply equally to all participants and nobody should have any unfair advantages over another. That way, each person has an equal opportunity to succeed. I think this is also related to the American dream and ideals of democracy. You hear it a lot in conversation. People will say, “It’s not a level playing field,” or, “It should be a level playing field.” It’s just that idea of fairness that everything should be equal and fair for everyone.

1. quote unquote

Let’s move on to the very last one, and that is ‘quote unquote’. I say this when we’re talking about modern forms of slavery in factories in Southeast Asia or in China, and other places in the world. I’m saying that the employers actually quote unquote hold the passports of the workers. What I mean by quote unquote is I’m drawing attention to the fact that this word hold does not mean what it sounds like because when you hear the word hold, it sounds like the employers are just helping the workers by keeping their passports safe, but in fact, what they’re doing is they have stolen those passports, they have taken those passports and they’re keeping them against the consent of the employees, but the employees have no power to get them back. They’re not really holding their passports even though they say, “We are holding their passports. They can have them back whenever they want.” The fact is, they’re not holding them. They are keeping them away from the employees.

Another example of this might be let’s imagine I went to a foreign country last month. I rented a motorcycle and was driving around. Suddenly a police man pulled me over, and he said that I was speeding even though I know I wasn’t speeding. I wasn’t even close to speeding. I asked him what the quote unquote fine was, and he said 100 dollars, so I gave him the cash right there on the spot, and he quickly left. He took my quote unquote fine and he left. In this case, policeman, of course, have the power to charge fines for breaking the law, but in this case, he was taking a bribe. He took the cash, and he left. It wasn’t really a fine even though that’s what I said. “What’s the fine.” The fact is, he took a quote unquote fine which is not really a fine. It’s actually a bribe.

That is the meaning of quote unquote. If you hear it, immediately search for a different meaning, a double meaning or something that is not what it appears to be. That’s quote unquote.

All right. That brings us to the end of this commentary. I hope that these explanations have been helpful to you, and if you have any further questions, please, email us at members@deepenglish.com or post your questions in our secret Facebook group that way other people can benefit from the answers. All right. Enjoy. Good bye.