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Conversational Vocabulary

Hi, this is Aaron Campbell of Deep English. I am now going to talk about some of the language that was used in the conversation between Dan and I about memory alteration. Let’s get started. Right at the very beginning of the conversation, Dan introduces this movie, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, and asked me if I’ve seen it. I tell him, I haven’t but I will soon because putting together this lesson has really piqued my interest.

1. piqued my interest

Now, ‘piqued my interest’. This word ‘pique’, it actually comes from the French language like many words in the English language. We borrow lots of words in English from other languages. It means to ‘stimulate’ or to ‘prick’. We often talked about piquing our interest, or piquing our curiosity. Those are the common uses with ‘interest’ and ‘curiosity’.

For example I went to see an East Asian Art exhibition at the local art museum. I might say, well the visit to that art museum really piqued my interest in Chinese history. It got me thinking about Chinese history and how interesting it is, and now I want to learn more about it.

Or maybe I went to a local community meeting, and I might say, “You know that community meeting yesterday, piqued my interest in local politics.” Now I want to get involved.

As a teacher I try to pique my student’s interest in cross cultural communications. And as a parent, I try to pique my children’s interest in reading novels and stories. Those are some examples of how to use ‘piqued my interest’.

And of course ‘curiosity’ is a really common phrase, ‘piqued my curiosity’. For example, the commercial I saw on TV piqued my curiosity about the company’s services. Or now that you’ve piqued my curiosity, I think I’ll do some research on the topic right away. We don’t always have to use ‘my’, we can put any sort of subject in there, any kind of noun.

For example the smell of roasted meat, piqued the bear’s curiosity in our camp site. Do Deep English lessons ever pique your curiosity about a certain topic? That’s how it’s used. Let’s move on to the next one, let me try to pique your interest in the next vocab commentary topic.

1. bringing up

That is ‘bringing up’, this happens on page 2 of the conversation, and in this area, Dan says - and we’re talking about the end of the movie and how you have to guess what happens – and he says, “Really this movie is bringing up all these questions about memory and how that shapes who we are.” When you hear ‘bringing up’, it means it causes to arise, it brings into being, it makes us aware of something, or reminds us of something. And very often we’ll use this, this little phrase with ideas, with questions, with emotions, with issues and topics. None physical things, of course you could use this in some situations with something physical, but it’s usually used with abstract things.

Let me give you some examples. Looking at all these old photos in the photo album is bringing up memories of my childhood. Or on a really bad weather day, I might say “This cold and gray weather is bringing up feelings of depressions, I need some sunshine.” Or maybe if I’m listening to the news, and I say “Hey, I listened to the news last night, and the reporter kept bringing up the political issues of the story, instead of just focusing on human issues.” I didn’t want to hear about politics, but he kept bringing it up, right.

Maybe if I’m talking with some other teachers, or other friends, I might say, “Yeah, wow all this discussion we’re having is really bringing up some good ideas I’m really happy with that.”

Now we don’t always have to use the ING form of the verb. We can actually use just the present tense form, ‘brings up’, or the past tense verb, ‘brought up’. It just depends on which tense we’re using in the conversation. Dan, does this on page six when he’s talking about sympathy. He says, “I can have sympathy for people who have gone to war, and they carry that heavy trauma. I can’t empathize with it, because I never been to war. Which actually brings up something I was thinking about, I was thinking about the Vietnam War.”

In this case, he’s using the present tense, which actually brings up, it gives rise to it. In this sense, reminds me of, talking about trauma reminds him of the Vietnam War, it brings up something he was thinking about.

I can say when my friend is talking to me, I can say, “Hey you know I see what you’re saying, and actually you bring up a good point. We should be more careful about how much electricity we use each day.” Maybe my friend was telling me about environmentalism, and it reminds me about how we need to be careful about the electricity that we use. He brings up a good point.

In my English classes, I’m an English teacher. In my English classes, I try not to bring up the topics of religion, politics, sex, or drug use. It can make too many people feel uncomfortable. I try not to bring up those topics, I try not to make people aware of them because it will just lead to trouble.

1. Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome

Okay let’s move on to the next one. This one is Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. This is something that Dan mentions on page four. He’s talking about research that was done into people who had Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. Actually, he was using the word ‘syndrome’, but in fact what he meant was ‘disorder’. They’re basically…they have same meaning. ‘Syndrome’ and ‘disorder’ are very similar in meaning. The illness that he’s referring to is called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

We often hear it as PTSD. So you might hear someone talk about PTSD and they’re talking about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Basically what this is, is a disorder, a syndrome, an illness, that people who have been through very terrible, traumatic experiences like a severe accident or maybe they saw people die in front of them such as in a war, or in a rape, or some terrible thing that happens. It’s so disturbing that in the future that person exhibits symptoms of let’s say flashback, recurring dreams or memories of the event that are very disturbing and they are, they cause many emotions, like negative emotions to rise, like fear or anxiety, or sadness and it makes these people … It makes their life very difficult…dealing with this over time. Interestingly children - I read this -children are less likely to experience PTSD as adults, than adults are. Maybe that says something about the way children experience reality and how it’s different from adults. Maybe as adults we have many more attachments, and we suffer more from things that happen than children do on a deep level.

It’s quite common in the medical industry to use acronyms to describe illnesses or syndromes, or disorders. Some of the most common ones are Attention Deficit Disorder, or ADD. You don’t hear people talk about ADD, “That child has ADD.” Or AIDS is probably the most common one, Acquired Immunity Deficiency Syndrome. AIDS is a big problem around the world, especially in Africa. SIDS is another one, Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, where children go to sleep at night, and they don’t wake up. We’re talking about really young children, infants under the age of eight or six months.

There was another one in the news, over the last, oh I guess 10 years or so, SARS, Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome. People were coming down with SARS, and companies were making vaccines for SARS, and people were very afraid of it. You’ll hear lots of different acronyms especially from medical terminology. Okay, so that’s Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome, or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, PTSD.

1. I see what you mean.

Let’s move on to the next one, this is on page 5 in the conversation. I’m talking about how it could be quite dangerous to alter or change or remove memories. And I’m asking the question, I bring up the issue, or I bring up the question, “Is this a dangerous thing? I wonder is this a good thing to do?” Dan says, “I see what you mean. I feel that we’re more than just our memories. I actually have a really poor memory.” And then he goes on to talk about some other things.

‘I see what you mean’ is just another way of saying ‘I understand’, or ‘I understand what you’re saying’. We especially use this one when someone else, the person we’re talking to, is offering their opinion. Not only does it mean ‘I understand what you’re saying’, but we often use it as a segway or a connection into saying something related into offering our own opinion which maybe related or in agreement with what the person is saying, or it could be in disagreement. This is a good conversational strategy to use, ‘I see what you mean’, and then you offer your own opinion. We actually say that right before we offer our opinion on the topic.

For example maybe I’m talking with a friend, and my friend is telling me how important it is to be punctual, to be on time, and people who are punctual, and on time are … They do better in their professional life. They do better in their relationships. Of course this is a … It depends on which culture you’re in. When he’s talking about this, it might remind me, “Oh yeah you know what? In Japan being on time is really important, being punctual is really important.” I might say, “Yeah, I see what you mean.” Actually here in Japan trains are always on time, and if a train is just a few minutes late, it could cause a disturbance and the train company often apologizes for being just a few minutes late.

And of course you can use this, ‘I see what you mean’ followed by ‘but’ to offer an opposing opinion.

Maybe my mother is telling me how important it is to wear sunscreen on a really sunny day, and she tells me that if you don’t wear it you might get a sunburn, and it’s bad for you, it can lead to skin cancer. I might say, “Yeah you know I see what you mean mom, but…” Right now I’m going to offer a different opinion. “…but, those sunscreens, many of them contain chemicals that are really harmful for your skin. If you use them frequently you might develop skin cancer from the chemicals rather than from the sun.” I might say, “I see what you mean, but it might be dangerous to use sunscreen on a daily basis. Maybe it’s better just to cover yourself with clothing or something like that.” Okay, so., ‘I see what you mean’.

1. I’ll be like

Now let’s move on to the next one. This one is a really common phrase in English, and it’s very casual. This is what Dan says, just a few lines later after he says, “I see what you mean.” He says, “When I go home (meaning America) and I see my old buddies from high school, sometime we start telling stories from the old days.” Remember the time you did that crazy thing?” and sometimes I’ll be like, “Are you sure was that really me?” Like this. ‘I’ll be like’, he said, “Sometimes I’ll be like are you sure was that really me?”

What does this mean, ‘I’ll be like’? Well, in fact what it actually means is that ‘I will think or say the following words in that situation’. Okay, maybe if we rephrase this, Dan might say, “Remember the time you did that crazy thing?” In that situation I would say, “Are you sure? Was that really me?” He just shortens it and makes it very casual, ‘I’ll be like’.

Now sometimes we use this in the present tense, ‘I’m like’, or in the past tense, ‘I was like’. Let me give you an example. I’ll give you first an example of kind of more formal English, and then I’ll use the more casual ‘I’ll be like’.

Last summer I went to the amusement park with my family, and my oldest daughter, she was interested in riding the roller coasters. I took her to one of the biggest roller coasters in the park. I said to her, “Come on, Aili let’s ride it now.” She said to me, “Oh no daddy, it’s too scary, I can’t go on it.” Then I said to her, “Well, listen Aili I know you’re going to have fun it’s going to be fun, it’s actually very safe, please come on the ride.” Then she said to me, “Sorry daddy, I can’t, I’m too afraid.” Okay, that’s more formal English.

I might tell the same thing to a friend of mine, like Dan for example. If I’m hanging out with Dan, I might say, “Hey, Dan you know I took my daughter to the amusement park last summer, and we went to the biggest roller coaster there was.” And I was like, “Hey, Aili let’s go on this right now.”

Then she was like, “No way daddy it’s too scary.” Then I was like, “Well come on Aili, you know it’s going to be fun, it’s actually very safe, there’s no danger at all you’re going to love it.” And she was like, “No way, I can’t do it daddy. I’m going to stay here, you go alone.” That’s the difference between a bit more formal, and a bit more casual English.

So anytime you want to say, ‘I said this’, or ‘she said that’, just say ‘I was like’, or ‘she was like’, or ‘I’ll be like’, or ‘she’ll be like’, or ‘I’m like’, or ‘she’s like’. This is a way, to report someone else’s speech. Okay enough of that.

1. hang on

Let’s move on to the next one, and this is hang on. This is a really useful one, I hope all of you use this. Dan’s talking about the danger of manipulating memories, and then he brings up empathy. We have to learn empathy, we have to have empathy, when we suffer. Then I interrupt him, I say, “Hang on, do you mean sympathy or empathy?” So when I went to interrupt someone, I use, ‘hang on’.

You have to remember when you use this phrase, it is a bit casual. You can use ‘hang on a second’, which is very common, you can use hang on a sec, hang on a sec what did you say?

Hang on a sec can you tell me more? Or hang on a minute, hang on a minute, I don’t understand, can you say that again? Another one is hold on. Hold on, hold on, hold on, what did you say? Or hold on a sec, hold on a minute. Those are other ones that you can use in addition to hang on.

Now if you want to be extremely polite, in a more formal setting such as a business setting, you might say ‘Excuse me, but…’ Or ‘I’m sorry to interrupt, but…could you say that again?’ In our conversation, between Dan and I, I could have said, “I’m sorry to interrupt Dan, but did you mean sympathy or empathy?” Instead, I wanted to be casual because Dan is my friend and I said, “Hang on. Do you mean sympathy or empathy?” Okay, that’s ‘hang on’. If you want to interrupt a friend, use ‘hang on’, or ‘hang on a sec’.

1. empathy vs. sympathy

Okay, now that does bring us to empathy and sympathy, what’s the difference? (Taking a drink of water here.) Actually these word sound very, very similar, and however their meanings are different and they’re often confused. In fact native speakers confused them all the time. Most native speakers probably don’t even know the difference between empathy and sympathy.

Let’s take a look at the words themselves, both share the suffix, ‘pathy’. ‘Pathy’ comes from the Latin, pathos, which means disease, or illness, or affliction. Now ‘em’, the prefix, means ‘into’, or ‘put into’ in Latin and ‘sym’, means ‘together’ or ‘with’.

If we think about empathy, it sort of means putting yourself into the disease or illness, or suffering of another person. This is almost like a sharing of feeling. When you have empathy for someone, you can kind of enter into their consciousness in a way, and try to imagine and feel what it’s like for them, both positively and negatively. It’s really a fuller experience of what that person is going through. It takes a special person to have empathy. It takes a very compassionate, loving person to have empathy. It really drives connection between two people, or one person and a group of people.

Now sympathy on the other hand is a little bit different. It’s not so full, meaning that if you have empathy for someone, you really feel their suffering and you can really understand the situation from their perspective, from their point of view. But, if you have sympathy for someone, it’s not as strong as empathy. Sympathy is done from a distance, it’s actually, it sort of relates a disconnection between you and the person who is suffering. If you have sympathy for someone, let’s say that doesn’t have any money, you might say, “That’s too bad, that person has no money.” Well, yeah maybe I’ll give him some money, or maybe I’ll donate some money and that will help him out. They’ll be okay, at least they have their health, at least they friends. They might be poor, but they’ll be okay.” So that’s sympathy.

Whereas empathy might be verbalized like, “Wow that person has no money, I wonder what it’s like to be that person. Seeing all the wonderful things around them, and they don’t have enough to buy the things they need. They don’t have enough to give to their children.” As I’m imagining this, I’m feeling their pain. That’s empathy.

I think the development - anybody can be sympathetic - I think the development of empathy is something that as parents, as teachers, as a society we should be trying to actively encouraged.

There should be techniques developed for encouraging empathy. I think about, as a teacher, ways that I can design my lessons to foster more empathy in my students. I do this through having them imagine situations and having them close their eyes and imagine what it feels like to be another person. And I think that’s important in all aspects of life. Let’s try to be more empathetic. Let’s try to developed empathy.

There’s a really good video short video by this organization called RSA Shorts. I’ll put the link the PDF. Watch it, it’s just a few minutes long but it really explains the difference between empathy, and sympathy with a little cartoon. It’s quite easy to understand. It has subtitles, you can read as you listen, good for your English.

1. comes up

Okay, let’s move on to number 8, which is ‘comes up’. Now, this is something that I say on page 6 of the transcript, in the conversation, and I’m talking about if we experience a traumatic event, if we erase our memory of it, it removes the opportunity for us to work with it, when it comes up and when it’s present.

When it ‘comes up’, we’re talking about the memory of the traumatic event. When it comes up we have an opportunity to deal with it, okay. This is almost the same as ‘brings up’, which we talked about earlier. There’s one difference, we use ‘comes up’ when something arises on its own. In this case when the memory comes up, we deal with it. ‘Bring up’ needs a doer, someone to bring it up. I might say when the memory of the death of my grandfather comes up, I feel sad. Now, to use bring up I might say when my mother brings up the death of her father, my grandfather, I feel sad. That’s the difference it’s very simple.

We use ‘comes up’ when something arises on its own. Whenever the topic of homework comes up, here’s another example in my classes, my students groan. “Oh no homework.” Whenever I bring up the topic of homework, my students groan. So in one case the topic of homework arises on its own, and in the next case I bring it up, I mention homework my students groan. Nobody likes homework.

1. devolve

We’re on to number 9, which is ‘devolve’. Again we’re talking about erasing memories, and Dan says, “Yeah, we could really devolve on an emotional and wisdom level, on a level of emotion and wisdom.”

What he’s talking about is the opposite of ‘evolve’, or evolution. We have evolution, sort of the growth and development of something, and the opposite will be ‘devolution’, to devolve would be to move in the opposite direction. Not a direction of growth and development, but a direction kind of shrinking and going back to the way things were before. It has kind of a negative meaning.

But what I want to point out here is the prefix ‘de’. You’ll see this in a lot of words, and it basically means ‘the opposite’. The opposite of, if you see a word, or hear a word that don’t know that begins with ‘de’, it often has a negative or an opposite meaning.

Let me give you a few examples, because that ‘de’ prefix, it basically means ‘removal’ or ‘opposite’, or ‘to reduce’. For example if you are a frequent flier, and you fly on a cold wintery day where there is lots of snow and ice. You’ll notice that they have to de-ice the airplane, before it can take off, and that leads to delays right, delays, de-ice. To de-ice an airplane means to remove the ice from its wings before takeoff, okay.

To destruct, to destruct, means to tear something apart or break it down and it’s of course the opposite of construct, or to construct, to build up.

To descend, there’s that ‘de’ again. Descend it means climb down, to ascend, or to ascend means to climb up. ‘De’, we have this feeling of coming down of tearing something apart, of removing something.

Another one is activate, you must activate the machine, that means turn it on. Deactivate it means to turn it off, to remove it’s activation, to deactivate. Pay attention to that, when you hear it, it means removal or opposite.

1. That’s for sure.

All right, that bring us to the very last phrase. This is something that I use towards the end of the conversation in the middle of page 7, Dan is talking about some of the embarrassing memories, that he’s had. I said, “Yeah I have plenty of those.” Dan says, “Those were all good learning experiences.” I say, “That’s for sure. That’s for sure.”

Okay, this is just a way to indicate agreement. It basically means I agree with you, but it has two flavors. One is a casual, connotation it’s a very casual thing to say. And it’s also emphatic, it provides emphasis. In fact when I say, “That’s for sure.” I’m not only agreeing with you, I’m strongly agreeing with you, and I’m doing it in a casual way. So if you’re talking with friends, talking with people in a casual setting, like a restaurant, or in the street, at a café, you might use this, ‘That’s for sure’.

And there are other phrases that mean exactly the same thing, such as you got that right, or tell me about it, or you better believe it, or I hear you. These are all casual ways of agreeing with someone, strongly agreeing with someone, and they meant he same thing that’s for sure.

Someone might be talking about, complaining about, taxes being too high. I’ll say, “Yeah that’s for sure. They sure are high.” My father always used to tell me, “Aaron when you drive a car, just remember speed kills.” I would say, “Yeah, you got that right.” Actually when I was a teenager, I started driving and I probably wouldn’t have said, “You got that right.” Because I didn’t understand how dangerous speed was. Now if I hear that phrase, ‘speed kills’, my first impulse is to say, “You got that right.” Because I know that speed is a very dangerous thing when driving.

I hear this all the time, ‘Learning a foreign language isn’t easy”, and I say “Yeah, tell me about it. I agree with you.” I’m, a language teacher and a language learner and I know how difficult it is, ‘tell me about it’.

We often hear about how dangerous smoking cigarettes is, and if I hear that, I’ll say, “Yeah you better believe it. It leads to cancer. It leads to many different diseases.”

For someone who’s working really hard, they might say, “Oh man I need a vacation.” And I say, “Yeah I hear you, I hear you, I need one too.”

So these are ways to casually agree in an empathic, strong way. Use those, ‘that’s for sure’.

Okay, we have come to the end of the vocab commentary, on the conversation of memory alteration. I hope that you will put into practice everything that I talked about and that will enrich your conversations that you have with other people. I hope they’re meaningful and I hope that what you’ve listened to will help you. Okay, enjoy.