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CONVERSATIONAL VOCABULARY

LIFE ON A LOOP

Hi there. Aaron here of Deep English. I’m now going to talk about some of the languages that occurs in the conversation between Dan and I on memory.

1. premise

I’m going to start by talking about the word ‘premise’. Dan mentions this movie called 50 First Dates that he watched or at least watched part of. He says that it’s interesting because it’s based on a true story and I say, “Yeah, the premise itself is quite interesting.” So this word ‘premise’, it basically means, in this context, the state of affairs. That means the way things are which forms the basis for some kind of further work or creation, in this sense, the movie. The movie itself may not have been so interesting but the premise, the idea that the movie was based on, is interesting.

This word ‘premise’ actually has its roots in logical reasoning. The famous syllogism that, “All men are mortal and Socrates is a man, therefore Socrates is mortal.” This kind of reasoning is based on two premises. The conclusion is based on two premises. The first premise is that all men are mortal, that means they die. The second premise is Socrates is a man. Those are the two premises upon which the conclusion is based, and the conclusion is that Socrates is mortal. That means he will die at some point in his life. That’s true because both premises are true.

In this context, of course we’re not following any kind of logical reasoning but we’re just talking about the basis upon which the movie, as if it were a conclusion, was created. That’s ‘premise’. I used the word ‘itself’ just to draw emphasis to the ‘premise’, as opposed to other things. So that’s ‘premise itself’.

1. drawn to

The next piece of language is a verb and it’s ‘drawn to’. Dan is talking about this woman in the movie who cannot remember anything after a car accident that she had. Dan says, “Yeah, the next day of course she wakes up and she doesn’t remember this man that she’s involved in a relationship with.” And he says, “Yeah, this man is really drawn to her so he keeps going back and he won’t give up.” That is he won’t give up trying to be her boyfriend. Later, actually, in the conversation I say, “Yeah, maybe it was just true love. Maybe this man just felt so drawn to this person that he kept coming back.”

Basically, this ‘drawn to’ is very similar to the verb ‘attract’. It’s just from the opposite perspective.

We might take another example like, “Mr. Jones likes old books very much so antique bookstores attract Mr. Jones. Mr. Jones is drawn to antique bookstores.” We could also say, “Mr. Jones is attracted to antique bookstores,” but we cannot say that, “Antique bookstores draw Mr. Jones.” I mean, you could say that but, actually, that sounds very strange. We usually say, almost always would say, “Mr. Jones is drawn to antique bookstores.” Are you drawn to antique bookstores? I’m not so drawn to antique bookstores. I’m drawn to contemporary bookstores. I like to see the latest novels and books that have been written, so I’m drawn to that. What are you drawn to? What are you attracted to?

1. hang on

Okay, the next one is ‘hang on’. Dan’s talking about this movie and he’s telling me the story and I say, “But hang on. I have a question about that. That guy she meets, had they known each other before the accident?” So as Dan’s explaining, I interrupt him in order to get some necessary information that I need to continue understanding what Dan is saying. This is a way, kind of a casual way, of interrupting someone to ask a question or to add a piece of information.

There are many ways to interrupt people. We actually mention this in one of our learning strategies and give you some exercises for using them. But another one might be ‘hang on’, ‘hang on a sec’, ‘wait a sec’, ‘wait a minute’, ‘hold on’, ‘hold on a sec’, ‘hold on a minute’. Those are some kind of casual ways to interrupt people.

If you want to be a little bit more polite, you might say, “Sorry but may I ask a question?” or, “Excuse me, can I ask a question?” “I’m sorry but I need to ask a question.” Those are little bit more polite ways to interrupt people.

So hang on a sec. Hang on. Do you have any questions? Like this. Okay. ‘Hang on’.

1. on one hand and on the other hand

The next thing I’d like to draw your attention to is something that Dan uses, a language pattern, and it’s kind of a duel, that means a double language pattern. It goes together. That is ‘on one hand’ and ‘on the other hand’. You use these phrases any time you want to point out opposing sides, opposite sides of any particular issue.

Dan’s talking about the movie 50 First Dates and he says, “Every day this woman cannot remember this guy but he does remember.” So that’s the issue, and then Dan says, “No, I mean on the one hand, you can make a case that he’s really in love with her, going after her day after day,” which is kind of the positive side of the issue. Then Dan says, “But on the other hand, there is something kind of creepy that he knows all the stuff about her and she doesn’t know anything about him.” So that’s the other side of the issue. It might be a little strange or odd or creepy or weird that he’s attracted to this woman even though he knows that she cannot remember from day to day what’s actually going on.

Use this: “On the one hand, A, but on the other hand, B.” You can use your voice to show the inflection between the two. The positive one you can say one way and the negative one you can say the other.

Let me give you a couple of examples. Pay attention to my intonation and how I deliver this. We’re going to have a party with my friends. It’s his birthday. It’s on Thursday night at a restaurant and I know lots of interesting people are going to be there. I’m looking forward to going, but I’m not sure if I really want to go or not because I have to get up early in the morning on Friday. So I might say something like, “Well, should I go or not. Hmm, let’s see. Well, on one hand it’s going to be lots of fun and I’m going to meet lots of people and I might drink a little bit and have a really good time. But on the other hand, I got to work really early the next morning so I’m afraid I might be out too late and too sleepy the next day.” That’s one example.

Let’s take another example: gun control in the USA. This is a very controversial issue for many people because on the one hand, with gun control, with greater gun control, people’s lives will be safer and it will actually save lives. The more gun control, statistics show, actually saves more lives.

Fewer people will die. But on the other hand, it’s written in the constitution that people have a right.

They have a right to bear arms, to own guns and weapons. That’s a bit of a problem because people have this constitutional right and they feel that they have the freedom to do it so by changing the gun laws and taking their guns away, you are taking away part of their culture, part of their traditions. So there are two opposing sides. On the one hand it’s good and on the other hand it’s bad. Like this.

See if you can use this when talking about contentious issues, issues that are controversial or that may have opposing sides. Okay, I hope that’s clear.

1. it makes you wonder

Later I say, “It makes you wonder.” We’re talking about this guy who keeps seeing this woman over and over again, and I say, “Well, it kind of makes you wonder what his motives are in staying in that relationship.” Anytime something raises a question or causes you to question something, you can use this phrase ‘it makes you wonder’. It makes you ask the question. It actually begs the question.

For example, recently, we have a tree in our garden, in our front garden, and our garden is very small and it’s basically surrounded by concrete. There’s not many other plants around the houses next door. There’s no continuation of trees and things. Then suddenly, all these caterpillars appeared just out of nowhere and started eating all the leaves. Within just a couple of weeks, all the leaves on the tree were gone. And it just kind of makes you wonder, how on earth did those caterpillars get there so quickly? They just appeared! I wonder what happened. How did that happen?

Another example might be, here in Japan the birth rate is super low. It’s like one of the lowest in the world. It kind of makes you wonder because Japan is a fairly developed country. In fact, it’s one of the wealthiest countries in the world. Why? It sort of makes you wonder, why is the birth rate so low? Japanese people can certainly afford to have children but why is the birth rate so low? It kind of makes you wonder. Likewise, Japanese people have the longest lifespans in the world. They live longer than just about any other group of people. It kind of makes you wonder why, especially nowadays with globalization and all the fast food people are eating and all the convenience store food that’s loaded with preservatives and sugar and salt and things like that. It kind of makes you wonder why they still have the longest lifespan in the world.

That’s when you use the phrase ‘it makes you wonder’.

1. along the lines

A bit later in the discussion, Dan brings up a book called Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind. He says, “Have you ever read it?” and I said, “Yes. It’s by Suzuki,” meaning D.T. Suzuki. Dan says, “Yeah, there’s a great first sentence in that. Something along the lines of…” And then I interrupt him.

Basically, when you cannot remember something that someone said to you, or you cannot remember exactly what they said or what you read or what you saw or what you heard, you can use this ‘along the lines’ phrase to try to communicate the general meaning of what they said as best as you can. That communicates to the listener, when you say ‘along the lines’, it communicates to the listener that what I am going to tell you is not exactly what the person told me, but it’s close to the best of my ability to remember what that person said or what I read in a book.

One example might be, let’s say I’m talking with my co-workers at a morning coffee break and I tell them, “Yeah, you know what? I met the boss last night for dinner and drinks. And we had lots of conversation but one of the things that he said, and I’m not sure exactly what it was, but it’s something along the lines of, “If we cannot make this company more profitable, then people will start losing their jobs.” That’s not his exact words, but it was something along the lines of that.

That might be an example of how this phrase might be used in the conversation.

1. dry humor

A bit later, we’re talking about memory and remembering something from the distant past and how accurate it would be. Then Dan says, “Well, I think if it was between me and you, the answer to whose memory would be more accurate would probably be mine. But that aside, the person who had thought about it more over those ten years would probably be the one who remembered it more inaccurately.”

This is an example of what I call ‘dry humor’ and it’s basically Dan’s attempt to be funny. This kind of humor only works if the listener or listeners truly understand the full context of the conversation and the relationship between the speaker and the listener, or the speaker and the listeners.

This kind of humor is very hard to pick up on or understand if you’re not familiar with the speaker and the listener and the full context. Sometimes, native speakers will use this kind of humor and it’s hard to pick up on. There’s another good phrase, ‘pick up on’. It’s hard to pick up on unless you have full understanding of the context. I just wanted to point out that he didn’t really believe that his would be more accurate. He was just making a joke and I understood it. I think I remember laughing a little bit. It wasn’t that funny, Dan.

. 8. just roll with it

I’m going to move on into the next phrase which is ‘just roll with it’. We’re talking about the situation where a mother is experiencing dementia. She cannot remember things at all. Her daughter has come to help her and live with her and the daughter’s husband also is living with them. Dan says, “Well, the best thing rather than trying to correct the mother’s lack of memory and tell her what is true and what is not, is just to roll with it. Whatever she says, just roll with it, and that will be the best. Don’t try to correct her. Just be with her and wherever she’s going, just go with. Just roll with it.”

Basically what this means is to adapt yourself and just follow the situation. Follow the context wherever it goes and don’t try to control it or change it or fight it. Just like a log floating down a river, the log is an inanimate object and it cannot control where the river is talking it. Whereas a swimmer in the river does have some control, depending on the strength of the current, where to go and how to fight that current o save his or her life or to get to a certain point in the river. That’s what he means. Even if it’s totally crazy what the mother says, just pretend that it’s real. Just roll with it.

You might hear this when people are taking about difficulties in life. If things aren’t going your way in life, if things are too difficult, well, just roll with it. It will create less stress and fewer problems for you. You might hear someone say, “Yeah there’s lots of changes going on in our society right now especially with the new government but instead of fighting these changes, maybe it’s just best to roll with them. Give the government a chance to make things better for the citizens, something like that.

Another way you can communicate the same meaning is to say ‘go with the flow’. Some people say ‘go with the flow’ or you also hear ‘roll with the punches’. Sometimes in life you have to roll with the punches. You have to go with the flow. Just roll with it. Just go with it.

1. toe the line

A few more. One of them is ‘tow the line’. Dan says, “The mother started to just love her son-in-law and started to just question, “Who is this woman?”” referring to her daughter. “Who is this woman living in my house? Hey, you better toe the line or I’m going to kick you out.” ‘Toe the line’ basically means to follow the rules strictly, to submit to authority, to conform with the rules of the culture that you’re in. It kind of has an authoritarian meaning. For this reason I think it comes from perhaps a military origin where the military sergeant would yell at the privates and say, “Okay, line up!” and people had to run and toe the line. Put their toes right on a straight line so that everyone is lined up. I’m sure you can imagine this in a public school or a private school system that’s very strict and authoritarian where the students at a certain time have to line up and they need to toe the line. They need to follow orders, they need to obey their teachers, or the soldiers need to obey their superiors. So ‘toe the line’.

You also hear this in politics. Some politicians, when it comes to voting or making decisions, they toe the party line. They always toe the party line. What that means essentially is they just do whatever the party does. They don’t think for themselves. They just follow the decisions that their political party wants to make. That can be good or bad depending on what you want out of your politician.

1. in your hands

Finally, one more and ‘it’s in your hands’. We’re talking about a situation where your parent, your mother or your father, completely goes senile and cannot even remember who you are often. In this situation you have to be pretty committed to that relationship, is what I say. You have to keep it going because, really, that relationship is in your hands at that point. You can walk away and let someone else deal with it or you can make a commitment to staying there even though that person doesn’t know who you are. It’s in your hands, that decision. That person’s fate is in your hands. That means you’re in control of it. The situation is in your control. It’s up to you to decide what to do.

People use this by changing ‘your’ to ‘in my hands’, ‘it’s in his hands’, ‘it’s in our hands’, ‘it’s in their hands’, et cetera. It just depends on the situation how you use this phrase. One example might be, you’re walking along and suddenly you see a car accident and someone’s lying there, bleeding on the road. You need to do first aid on that injured person until the paramedics arrive by ambulance.

After that, it’s in their hands. It’s no longer in your hands. It’s in their hands. The fate of that injured person is in their hands.

Another example might be, “Oh hey, I went on a job interview last week and I did the best I could. I thought I gave a really good interview. I thought it went really well. But now the decision is totally in their hands so I’m just waiting to hear from them. It’s all in their hands now. My fate as to whether I get the job or not is no longer in my hands. It’s in their hands. It’s up to them. That’s another phrase, ‘up to’ that you can use. It’s up to them, it’s up to the paramedics, it’s up to that guy, et cetera.

What you do with all of these vocabulary and languages patterns that I’ve just talked about is totally in your hands now. It’s in your control. It’s up to you. Are you going to use these in conversation or are you just going to listen and forget them? It’s in your hands.