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ACTIVE LISTENING MAIN STORY

LIFE ON A LOOP

Lucy Whitmore was a pretty, young woman from Hawaii, who lived a normal life. That was until she had an accident, which changed her life. On October 13th, 2002, Lucy and her mother were in a terrible car crash. Lucy survived the accident, although her mother wasn’t so lucky and died in the car crash. Most people would spend the next several months waking up very sad after losing their mother. Not Lucy though. It’s not that Lucy is coldhearted - she just wakes up every morning believing that her mother is still alive.

Because of the car accident, Lucy’s memory was severely affected. She lost the ability to store any new long-term memories. She wakes up each morning believing it is October 13th, 2002, the day of the crash. Her father and brother go to great lengths to keep her from learning the truth. They can’t bring themselves to tell her that her mother is dead. Each morning, they give her a newspaper from October 13th, 2002 and help her reenact that same day over and over again. They always have a reason her mother isn’t there. Because of this, Lucy is able to continue leading a somewhat normal, happy life.

Then one day, she meets a man named Henry Roth at a cafe. Henry is instantly attracted to her, and makes plans to meet her the next day. She agrees, neither of them knowing she won’t remember who he is the next day. When he greets her the next day, she tells him to go away. Henry is initially hurt, having thought he was going to have a date with Lucy. The cafe staff then pulls Henry aside, and informs him of Lucy’s memory problem.

While most normal men would simply move on, Henry was already too drawn to Lucy. He begins inventing new ways to run into Lucy every day. Lucy’s friends advise Henry to leave her alone but Henry refuses. He continues to meet Lucy over and over again, and each day Lucy believes she is meeting Henry for the first time.

Lucy’s father and brother weren’t comfortable with this arrangement though. They had been trying hard to protect Lucy from the truth. They confront Henry, and he tells them he is going to tell Lucy about what’s really going on with her memory problem. Both Lucy’s brother and father are averse to the idea, and try their best to keep Henry away from her. They soon realize though, that Henry is serious about Lucy, and won’t go away easily.

With Henry’s help, they start filming videos for Lucy to watch every morning. These videos inform her of the accident, and everything that has happened since. These videos are difficult for Lucy to watch, and her family doesn’t initially believe they are good for her. Henry keeps showing her the videos though, and it becomes clear that Lucy loves Henry just as much as he loves her.

At one point, Lucy starts to regret the relationship, feeling she is a burden to Henry. She abandons him and checks herself into the hospital. At this hospital, there are many patients with conditions like hers. They aren’t able to bring her memory back, but she is in a controlled environment. Then a breakthrough happens. Lucy begins painting pictures of a man she can’t identify. The man is clearly Henry, and her family decides that the best thing is for the two to be together. They obviously both love each other and both deserve to be happy.

Henry and Lucy got married and had a daughter together. Every morning Lucy wakes up and watches a video. In a few short minutes, Lucy runs through a gauntlet of emotions. She sees news stories about the crash where her mother died and she cries tears of sadness. Then she sees a video of her and Henry’s wedding and cries tears of happiness. Even though Lucy has to go through this difficult process every day, she has a good life and is happy with Henry.

This story is the plot of the 2004 comedy movie “50 First Dates” starring Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore. While the plot is fictional, there are people who have a very similar experience to Lucy.

Michelle Philpots is one of those people.

Just like Lucy, every day, Michelle wakes up next to a man who must convince her that he is her husband. Similar to the movie, she doubts him every morning until he shows her a photo album from their wedding 13 years earlier.

Unlike Lucy, Michelle was involved in two different accidents, which affected her memory. The first was a motorcycle accident in 1985. The second was a car crash in 1990, which caused her memory loss. The term for Michelle and Lucy’s condition is anterograde amnesia. Doctors say it’s rare, although it does exist. It allows those suffering from it to carry out day-to-day activities. They are able to function normally, except for the fact that their long-term memory doesn’t work.

Also unlike Lucy, Michelle knew her husband long before the accident when she lost her memory.

Her husband, Ian, and her had been dating for several years when the second accident occurred. It wasn’t until 1997, 7 years after the accident, that they married though. So even though Michelle doesn’t wake up next to a complete stranger, she does need to be convinced she is actually married to the person she is waking up next to.

Her memory troubles go beyond just the memories of her loved ones though. She has to keep hundreds of Post-It notes around her home, to remind her to do simple things. The calendar app on her phone is constantly going off to remind her about appointments and tasks.

Michelle says not everything about her condition is bad though. She enjoys watching TV, and never gets bored of the same programs. To her, there is no such thing as reruns, since every episode is new to her. Every time she hears an old joke, she laughs as if she’s hearing it for the first time.

Michelle’s husband Ian says it’s tough, but he wouldn’t have it any other way. He says it can be frustrating having to be so patient. He keeps calm though, because he loves her and wants her to be happy. He has known her for 25 years and feels lucky to have met her before the accident. He’s also grateful that there are lots of photos of them together, before and after the accident. Without the photos, it would be much more difficult for him to convince Michelle they are really married every morning.

Even though the movie is a comedy, for people like Michelle, losing your long-term memory is no laughing matter. Imagine if you woke up every day for the rest of your life, unable to remember the past 10 or 20 years of your life. If you’re lucky like Michelle, then you’ve already met the person you’ll spend the rest of your life with. People with this condition who haven’t though, often spend the rest of their lives under medical care. What if the person you loved were to suffer from a condition like this? What would your routine look like each morning to prove to them you already have a life together?