مکالمه ی فعالانه قسمت د

ACTIVE SPEAKING / PART D

YES OR NO

So what happened when Jacobs tried radical honesty out? Well, he began his experiment by telling a child that her pet bug was not sleeping; it was dead.

What did he tell a child about her pet bug? He told a child that her pet bug was not sleeping; it was dead. Is this a terrible thing to say?

He told a friend of his that he resented him for not inviting him to his wedding.

Why did he resent his friend? He resented his friend for not inviting him to his wedding. Did he tell his friend this? Yes, he told his friend this. Would you tell your friend this?

And while his wife was in mid-story, he told her that he didn’t want to listen anymore unless there was a payoff.

Did he tell his wife he didn’t want to listen anymore unless there was a payoff? Yes, he told his wife that he didn’t want to listen anymore unless there was a payoff. What did he tell his wife? He told his wife that he didn’t want to listen anymore unless there was a payoff. Do you think that’s rude?

Throughout the week he said countless things that offended, annoyed, and surprised his company.

Did he say things that offended his company? Yes, he said things that offended his company. Did he say things that annoyed his company? Yes, he said things that annoyed his company. Did he say things that surprised his company? Yes, he said things that surprised his company.

And while he often felt he was being rude, he also felt relieved each time he told the truth.

Did he feel he was being rude? Yes, he felt he was being rude. How else did he feel? He also felt relieved each time he told the truth.

Even though his comments frequently caused discomfort, they often led to deeper, more fulfilling conversations, and ultimately, deeper connections.

Did his comments lead to deeper conversations? Yes, his comments led to deeper conversations. Did they lead to deeper connections? Yes, they led to deeper connections.

For example, when he told his boss that he resented him for not responding more promptly to his email, Jacobs was shocked that his boss apologized and vowed to do better.

Did his boss apologize? Yes, his boss apologized. Did he vow to do better? Yes, he vowed to do better. Who was shocked? Jacobs was shocked.

But he dropped the experiment when an elderly friend, who had lost his wife, sent him poems about her passing, asking for Jacobs’ opinion.

Did an elderly friend ask for Jacobs’ opinion about his poems? Yes, an elderly friend asked for Jacobs’ opinion about his poems. What were the poems about? The poems were about his wife’s passing.

Despite the fact that Jacobs didn’t think the poems were very well written, he felt like he couldn’t tell the grieving man this because he didn’t want to hurt him more.

Did Jacobs like the poems? No, Jacobs didn’t like the poems. He thought they weren’t very well written. Why didn’t he tell the grieving man this? He didn’t tell the grieving man this because he didn’t want to hurt him more.

He lied, saying he liked the poems, and hoped they would be published soon.

Did Jacobs lie about the poems? Yes, Jacobs lied about the poems. What did he say about the poems? He said he liked the poems and he hoped they would be published soon.

Looking back, Jacobs concluded that radical honesty not only brought him deeper connections, but also hundreds of small, but relentless confrontations each day.

Did radical honesty bring him deeper connections? Yes, radical honesty brought him deeper connections. What else did it bring him? It brought him hundreds of small, but relentless confrontations each day.

While a radical “yes” or “no” approach to life, and even radical honesty are all recipes for upheaval and confrontation, maybe that’s a good thing.

Are these approaches to life a recipe for upheaval and confrontation? Yes, these are recipes for upheaval and confrontation. What are recipes for upheaval and confrontation? A radical “yes” or “no” approach to life, and even radical honesty are recipes for upheaval and confrontation. Is upheaval and confrontation a good thing?

When we are forced to temporarily step outside our comfort zone of everyday patterns and habits, we create the potential for real self-growth.

How often do you choose to step outside your comfort zone? Do you believe that stepping outside your comfort zone can create the potential for real self-growth?

New possibilities, new experiences and a greater understanding of who we are could just be a yes or no away.

What could just be a yes or no away? New possibilities, new experiences and a greater understanding of who we are could just be a yes or no away.

Disagree? Feel free to be radically honest. I can take it.