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CONVERSATIONAL VOCABULARY

YES OR NO

Hi everyone. Aaron here of Deep English. I’m now going to talk about some of the language usage that took place in the conversation Dan and I had about the topic of radical honesty.

1. shutting down the gate

The first point that I want to draw your attention to is a little phrase called ‘shutting down the gate’.

Dan says in our conversation, “And then you come to a certain point in your life and you’ve got limited time and limited energy, and you got to start shutting down the gate.” What he means by this phrase is basically closing yourself off from opportunities, from interactions. It’s another way to communicate the idea of shutting people out or shutting out opportunities.

There are many other ways of saying this. Dan says ‘shutting down the gate’ but you could say ‘closing yourself off’ or ‘walling yourself off’ or ‘closing yourself down’, ‘shutting yourself down’, ‘putting up the walls’, ‘putting up the barricades’, ‘shielding yourself’, ‘barricading yourself’. There are many different ways of communicating this same idea.

I don’t think it’s a good idea to close yourself off from opportunities and from people. I think those are positive things. I disagree. I don’t think you need to barricade yourself or shut down the gate.

Unless you need to protect yourself and then of course you need more time to yourself, you need to put up some walls and barricades from some of the opportunities that come your way.

1. playing devil’s advocate

Let’s move on to the next one and this is one where Dan says, “I’m just playing devil’s advocate.” I respond to the first thing that Dan said about shutting down the gate and I say, “Shutting down the gates and saying ‘no’. Hmm. I don’t know, Dan. That sounds a little extreme.” And Dan says, “Yeah, it sounds a little negative. I’m just playing devil’s advocate.” This is a phrase that you will almost always hear with the verb ‘to play’ devil’s advocate. ‘Playing devil’s advocate’. Sometimes you might hear someone say ‘being the devil’s advocate’ but usually it’s ‘playing the devil’s advocate’. “I’m just playing the devil’s advocate” or “He’s just playing the devil’s advocate.” What this means is… Well, let’s take a look at advocate, and advocate is a person who argues or pleads for the cause of another person and in this case it’s the devil. So the devil’s advocate is a person who kind of expresses an opinion and the opinion might be controversial or contentious.

People might disagree strongly with it. The purpose is to provoke some kind of debate to test the strength of one’s argument. Very often, the person who plays devil’s advocate doesn’t actually believe the position that he or she is arguing. In this case, Dan is saying, “You need to shut down the gates,” and when he says, “I’m just playing devil’s advocate,” he’s saying ‘I don’t actually believe that’. ‘I’m just putting that argument out there for the purpose of discussion so that we can understand the idea better’.

Actually, if you look up ‘devil’s advocate’ on Google, you’ll see on the Wikipedia page that the background of this term actually comes from the Catholic Church. There was a lawyer that’s called the devil’s advocate and he would argue against the canonization or the sainthood of a candidate in order to uncover any kind of weaknesses or character flaws in that person who the Church is seeking to make a saint. Again, this would be, maybe the person doesn’t actually believe those things but they’re putting forth an opposing argument so that people can better understand the situation.

I think it’s better to use a quick example. Let’s imagine that my friend and I are talking about gun control in the United States. Both my friend and I believe that guns should be regulated much more strongly than they are because they kill so many people both by accident and through anger. So we both believe that, but maybe I play devil’s advocate to my friend, and I say, “Hey, maybe it’s a good idea to own guns. After all, don’t we value freedom? Isn’t freedom important to us? Shouldn’t we have the freedom to protect ourselves from other people with guns or to protect ourselves from a government who may want to take those guns away? Shouldn’t we have the freedom for that?” And I’m only putting it out there to argue with my friend, not that I actually believe that but so that my friend can strengthen his own argument, his own position.

So that’s ‘playing devil’s advocate’. Do you ever play devil’s advocate? I know some people that like to play devil’s advocate, that often play devil’s advocate and they stir up lots of debate and controversy.

1. derogatory

All right. Enough of that. Let’s move on. I say a little bit later that the title of the movie is Yes Man and it’s about a guy who says ‘yes’ to everything. But then that phrases ‘yes man’ has another meaning, and Dan says, “Yeah, right. It’s a negative, derogatory term for someone who doesn’t think independently.”

This term ‘derogatory’ you may hear this from time to time, and it just means something negative.

It’s a negative term. Usually it has the connotation of not only negative but also showing strong disapproval of something or a lack of respect for something. Strangely, we often use this term ‘derogatory’ with some very common nouns. Those are term, a derogatory term, a derogatory statement that someone makes, he made derogatory comments yesterday in the meeting, or derogatory remarks. We often point this adjective toward words, derogatory words, terms, statements, comments. Keep that in mind if you ever hear that term ‘derogatory’ and try not to say derogatory things to other people.

1. butt-kisser

Right after that Dan says, “They just want to be a butt-kisser.” What is a ‘butt-kisser’? That doesn’t sound like a very nice image. But actually, this is a word that stands for a person who likes to curry favor with someone in authority, like a boss or a teacher, and they’re always saying ‘yes’ to that person and trying to be liked by that person for the purposes of personal gain.

There are many different terms for this such as ‘kiss-ass’, an ‘ass-kisser’, an ‘ass-licker’, a ‘brownnoser’. These are all the same. Someone who just ‘sucks up’ to the boss. That’s another verb that you can use, to ‘suck up’ to someone. Other verbs are like ‘to kiss butt’, ‘to kiss ass’, ‘to lick butt’, ‘to lick ass’, ‘to brown-nose’.

All of those, they don’t have such a nice meaning and I think if you’re in a situation where it’s a formal situation, if you’re in a meeting, a professional meeting or you’re at a very nice dinner, and you want to communicate that idea, probably the best term to use is ‘sycophant’. A ‘sycophant’ is a butt-kisser, a brown-noser. You can use the adjective ‘sycophantic’. That’s a sycophantic person.

He’s a sycophant. She’s a sycophant. The only problem is with that term, some people may not understand it, even native speakers so you may need to explain it. Probably an ass-kisser or a buttkisser or a brown-noser, those are the most common ways to describe that.

1. case in point

All right. Let’s move on. We’re running out of time here. ‘Case in point’. I’m talking about what an ass-kisser does or a butt-kisser does and I’m saying that their method of achieving success is to say ‘yes’ to whatever their boss is telling them to do. Then Dan immediately says, “I completely agree.

You’re very brilliant, Aaron.” And I say, “Well, thank you.” And he says, “The way you said that was wonderful,” and then I respond by saying, “Case in point.”

What I’m trying to point out is that is a perfect example of being a butt-kisser, what Dan was doing.

So whenever you want to point to an example of something that you’re talking about, you can say ‘case in point’ and it means that it a perfect example of what I’m talking about. It’s a relevant example. It’s perfect. It’s relevant. It’s important.

Then you can use this after the example like I did. Dan made an example of it and I said, “Case in point,” so I’m pointing it out. Or you can use it beforehand. For example, let’s say that my belief that the laws against drunk drivers need to be stronger. They’re not strong enough. They’re not strict enough. Case in point, last week a man hit a person on the sidewalk. It was a child. The child died.

He was only eight years old. It turns out that this drunk driver six months before had been arrested for drunk driving, but because the laws were not strict enough, he was back behind the wheel and he ended up killing a child. So that’s a case in point. That’s why that’s my argument for stronger laws against drunk driving. I use ‘case in point’ before the example and I followed after the example with it. Incorporate this into your English into English speaking. This is a really useful phrase, ‘case in point’.

1. obsequious

Immediately after I say case in point, Dan says, “The obsequious yes man.” ‘Obsequious’, this is a nice adjective that you should try to incorporate into your language patterns. An obsequious person is a person who is an ass-kisser or a butt-kisser, a brown-noser. It’s a person who’s so extremely eager and obedient and that says ‘yes’ to everything. Almost like a slave or a very overly obedient person. Of course, this is an adjective. We’re describing this kind of person.

Whenever I think of the meaning of ‘obsequious’, I think of a character in a movie that is a perfect representation, a paragon, if you will, of an obsequious person. This is in the movie The Big Lebowski from 1998. It’s an American comedy. In that movie, there is a crippled man in a wheelchair and he is a super achiever and he achieves a lot of success in his life and that’s the most important thing to him, is success. Anyway, he has a sidekick or an assistant who is probably the most obsequious character I’ve ever seen in a movie. His name is Brandt, and he basically just does whatever this crippled man, whose name is Lebowski, wants him to do. And he’s always praising Mr.

Lebowski and he’s idolizing Mr. Lebowski. And he’s always saying, “Yes, yes, you’re great, you’re great. Mr. Lebowski is the greatest.” That is a perfect example of obsequious.

You should try not to be an obsequious person. It’s not becoming. It’s not a good thing to be. You should try to be a little bit more down-to-earth and honest and straightforward, in my opinion. That is obsequious.

1. behind your back

Let’s move on to the next one and I asked Dan and I say, “Hey, have you ever been called a yes man?” Dan says, “No, but I’m sure I have been.” And I say, “Yeah, right. Behind your back or something.” This term ‘behind your back’, this is useful. It basically means when you’re not around without you knowing about it and so you can imagine that something happens behind your back, you can’t see it unless you have eyes in the back of your head, which is a nice little idiom. Basically, when things go on behind your back, it’s not a positive thing.

Very often, we combine this idea with the spreading of rumors, of things that may or may not be true about someone. We might say, I might tell my daughter, “Hey, never talk about people behind their back because you’re just spreading rumors and it’s only going to lead to negative consequences.

Or maybe the people who just moved in down the street, the new neighbors. They were very friendly, people were friendly to them, but it wasn’t long before rumors began to spread behind the new neighbors’ backs because some of the neighbors were talking about things they learned.

Or as a supervisor, as a boss, I might say to my employees, “Hey, I don’t want to hear anyone complaining behind my back. If you have a problem, I want you to come to me and tell me directly because that’s the best way to solve it. Let’s not gossip and spread rumors behind each other’s backs. Let’s be open about our problems.” Okay, so ‘behind your back’. Don’t do things behind people’s back.

1. judiciously

There’s a word that Dan uses, it’s actually an adverb. This is in the context of me talking about these robots in the movie Interstellar and how they were programmed to be 90% honest. Then Dan makes the comparison with humans and he says, “But we’re judiciously honest or dishonest. Were these robots just randomly 10% dishonest? Or were they judiciously honest?”

‘Judiciously’ does not mean 100% or some kind of percentile. What it actually means having really good judgment, good sense. It comes from the verb ‘to judge’, ‘judicious’, ‘judiciously’, ‘to judge’. To judge something means that you must first have awareness of a situation and then choose an option, choose to do something. In this case, ‘judiciously’ means to choose with good judgment or good sense. When we use the adjective ‘judicious’, it’s very similar in meaning to ‘sensible’, ‘wise’, or ‘prudent’.

We could say a person is judiciously honest, and what that means is they’re choosing to be honest in a situation where they could have chosen dishonesty but they are choosing to be honest because it’s the most sensible thing to do. If I say, “He is judiciously dishonest,” it means he’s not being dishonest through force of habit; he’s being dishonest because he’s aware that the situation calls for a white lie or calls for a little bit of dishonesty. The person is choosing to be dishonest. And what Dan is saying is that people choose dishonesty rather than just being dishonest as a force of habit.

We can combine ‘judiciously’ with any kind of adjective, like ‘judiciously honest’, ‘judiciously helpful’, ‘judiciously kind’, et cetera. But it’s more common as an adjective. ‘To be judicious’. You should be judicious. That’s often followed by the preposition in and an –ing verb. To be judicious in doing something. Parents should be judicious in punishing their children. We should, as learners, be very judicious in selecting our reading material. Teachers should be judicious in selecting learning materials for their students. Company managers, CEOs of companies should be judicious in the use of funds in their company. Government employees should be judicious in their use of resources.

Military commanders should be judicious in their use of force in a war.

These are all examples of how to use this ‘judicious’. It means to judge with good sense, to act with good sense, good judgment. So please, be judicious in the way you improve your English using materials and methods.

1. pops into your head

We’re getting close to the end here. A couple more. ‘Pops into your head’. Dan says, “Does it make you spiritual to say whatever pops into your head?” This little phrasal verb ‘pop into’ means to enter quickly. Ideas pop into your head. You can actually pop in to the convenience store to get a snack.

Or you can pop in to the library to check out a book. Or, hey, while you’re at it, pop into the post office to mail a letter.

The opposite of ‘pop into’ is ‘pop out’ or ‘pop out of’ depending on the sentence. It just means to exit briefly and maybe come back. We often use it that way, to exit quickly and come back. Be careful about what pops out of your mouth. It’s better to think carefully before speaking, otherwise, something damaging might pop out of your mouth and then it’s too late to control it. Bread pops out of a toaster. My coworker just popped out for a quick smoke. He’ll be back in five minutes. A little bit later, I’m going to pop out for a breath of fresh air because I’ve been sitting at my computer for too long. That’s how you can use those phrasal verbs ‘pop into’ and ‘pop out’.

1. one cheek sneak

Last one here. This is where Dan is saying that this guy Jacobs writes about the ‘one cheek sneak’, which is to fart silently. And this guy Blanton feels strongly that doing so is lying, and if you fart you should project it.

This is, of course, farting is the act of passing gas which all human beings and animals must do. Of course, in most cultures that at least I have experience with, farting out loud or farting around a group of people is considered impolite or rude, mostly because of the unpleasant smell that often accompanies this act. In this case, the guy Jacobs is saying ‘one cheek sneak’. I’ve actually never heard that before. Maybe this is something he made up or maybe in his geographical location this is a euphemism for a silent fart. So I’ve never heard it but now I know about it.

When I was a kid, we used to actually refer to silent farts as silent but violent. It’s silent but violent, meaning the worst kinds of farts, the worst smelling farts are those that are silent. While we’re on the topic, I can give you a few more that are common at least where I’m from, that is ‘let one rip’.

She let one rip. The dog let one go. That’s another one, ‘let one go’, one meaning a fart. ‘Cut the cheese’, that’s an interesting one. ‘Who cut the cheese?’ is a common question. Did you cut the cheese? Sorry I cut the cheese. You can actually imagine maybe the smell just in that little phrase, ‘cut the cheese’.

There’s another phrase that we use just for your knowledge that says ‘he who smelt it, dealt it’. This refers to, if you’re in a room of people and someone says, “Hey, what’s that smell?” or, “Hey, who farted? Who cut the cheese? Who let one go?” That’s often the person that did it, and it’s sort of a joke, a funny thing to say. ‘He who smelt it, dealt it’.

1. oh boy

Anyway, I respond to this by saying, “Oh boy.” This is an exclamation that means kind of a light, it has a light connotation, but a light sense of dissatisfaction or some kind of negativity, whether it’s despair or confusion or fear or something like that. And there are other ways. You can say, “Oh boy,” or, “Oh gosh.” “Oh geez.” “Oh man,” or, “Oh God.” Now that last one, ‘Oh God’, be a little bit careful with that if you’re around someone religious, you could offend them by saying that. But the other ones, ‘oh geez’, ‘oh man’, ‘oh gosh’, ‘oh boy’, it just means kind of a light sense of dissatisfaction.

Dan is talking about farting and we’re talking about this one cheek sneak and I just say, “Oh boy,” like let’s move on. Let’s not talk about this.

But interestingly, the same phrases can have the exact opposite meaning if you use a different intonation, inflection, tone of voice. It can mean exactly the opposite. It can mean a nice sense of positivity or satisfaction. So I could say, “Oh, man. We’re talking about farts. Oh boy. Let’s move on.” Or I can say, “Oh boy! Look at all these wonderful presents under the Christmas tree. Oh wow!

Gosh! Geez! Man this is great!” So it’s the same. The exact same phrases but they have a totally positive meaning.

Or, “Oh gosh. Look! The sun’s out. It’s going to be a beautiful day. Oh boy, I can’t wait to go outside.” So again, it’s the way you use these exclamations, will communicate either negativity or positivity. So remember that.

All right. That means that to the end of this vocab commentary. I hope you enjoyed it. Please, as always, try to put these words and phrases into use in your daily conversation. Have fun!