هیچ لباس تمیزی نیست

No clean clothes

By Robert Munsch

Illustrated by Michael Martchenkko

Lacey opened the top drawer of her dresser: NO CLEAN CLOTHES! Lacey opened the middle drawer of her dresser: NO CLEAN CLOTHES! Lacey opened the bottom drawer of her dresser: NO CLEAN CLOTHES! Lacey looked all around her bedroom: NO CLEAN CLOTHES!

She ran downstairs and yelled, “Mom! Mom! Mom! Why didn’t you wash my clothes?” “lacey,” said her mother, “ I would wash your clothes if I could find your clothes! You hide them under your bed! You lend them to your friends! You leave them in the backyard! Sometimes I think you feed your underwear to the dog!”

“Mom,” said lacey, “don’t be silly! All I need is one shirt! Can’t you find me just one clean shirt?” “well!” said her mom, “there is that nice shirt that grandma gave you for your birthday. You never worn it.” “that shirt is a strange grandma present,” said lacey. “when I was three, grandma gave me a shirt that said SNOOGIE WOOKUMS, and everyone laughed at me. When I was four grandma gave me a shirt that said CUTIE PATOOTIE, and everyone laughed at me. When I was five grandma gave me a shirt that said CUDDLY WUNKUMS, and everyone laughed at me. Now I am six and grandma dives me a shirt that says KISS ME- I’M PERFECT. I’m not wearing that shirt to school. Only a grandma would choose a shirt like that.” “now lacey”, said her mom, “just wear it for this morning. I will wash a shirt and bring it to school at recess.”

“you will wash it right away?” said lacey. “yes” said Lacey’s mom. “you will not talk on the phone?” “no,” said her mom. “you will not wash the dishes?” “no,” said her mom. “you will not go to shopping on the way?” “no,” said her mom. “you will not go to work and chop down a tree?” “no,” said her mom. “OK!” said lacey. “I will be on the steps of the school at recess.”

Lacey put on the strange grandma shirt and walked down the road. A kitty cat looked up at her, read her shirt and gave her a kitty cat kiss on her ear: lick- lick-lick-lick-lick- lick. “neat!” said lacey. “I’ve got a kitty cat kiss. Maybe I’m going to like this shirt.”

She walked farther down the street and met a dog. The dog read Lacey’s shirt. Jumped up, and gave her a doggy kiss on her ear: Sphlick- Sphlick- Sphlick. “WOW!” said Lacey. “I got a kitty cat kiss and a doggy kiss! This is a wonderful shirt!”

Laceywalked farther down the street. An eagle flew in circles around her and landed down, red the shirt, and gave her an eagle kiss on the nose: DINK- DINK- DINK. Lacey yelled, “an eagle kiss! an eagle kiss! I got an eagle kiss! I love my grandma! I love this shirt!”

Lacey walked farther down the streetand met a moose. the moose looked at Lacey, read her shirt and gave her a large wet moose kiss right up the front of her face and over the top of her head: SPHLURRRRRHHHHH. “fantastic!” said Lacey. “I’m the first person ever to be kissed by a moose.”

When Lacey got to school, she ran inside and yelled, “teacher! Teacher! Look! I got a kitty cat kiss. I got a doggy kiss. I got an eagle kiss. I got a moose kiss. All because of wonderful grandma shirt!” “neat,” said her teacher. ‘but maybe you should go and wash. Your hair is full of green moose slime.” “yuck!” said Lacey. “very gross!”

When Lacey came back to her desk, a boy named Johnny sat down beside her. He read her shirt and gave her a kiss. “GWAAAACHHHHK!” yelled Lacey. “BOY KISS! AHHHHH!” she ran back into the bathroom and washed her face until recess. Then she went back outside and got really lucky because she was kissed… by a bear!

When Lacey got home after school her mother said, “I didn’t see you at school. Did grandma’s shirt turn out to be OK?” “I love it” said Lacey. “and called grandma from principal’s office. She is going to send everyone at school a strange grandma shirt.”